I figure what with having so many opinions about film that I should get off my ass and make my own. So last night at dinner, the Husband, Giga, Nala and I came up with an Idea that I'm ready to run with. Keep in mind, if you're a Famous Hollywood Director or Action Star and want to do this, you have to give me a cut of the profits, and I want my own action figure. And a novel tie-in by Star Wars/X-Files/Dune hack Kevin J. Anderson. And collectible trading cards. And Jeff Goldblum reading the Audio Adaptation for Young Readers.
When you hear this sound (*ding*) turn the page.
And now...FLUSH POINT
Flush Point is based on ACTUAL SCIENCE currently being ignored by the Bush Administration!!! See this NOVA Special, Magnetic Storm. Apparently we are in the middle of what could be the most Traumatic Experience the Earth has ever witnessed, and NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING TO STOP IT!!!
President Morgan Freeman has been in secret discussions with his top Scientific Advisor Brian Cox about the dangers that face the planet should the magnetic poles suddenly shift. CLIMATE CHANGES and INCREASES IN DEADLY RADIATION!!! It's all INCREDIBLY SERIOUS AND GRAVE!!!
But deep within the bowels of the White House, Official White House Plummer Will Patton/Bill Paxton/Bill Pullman knows THE TRUTH!!! (Since these three actors are often confused by audiences, during the movie they will each appear, at various times, as Official White House Plummer.) A SUDDEN SHIFT IN THE EARTH'S MAGNETIC POLES WOULD CAUSE THE WATER IN TOILETS TO GO DOWN THE BOWL THE WRONG WAY!!!! Science has long understood that the Coriolis Force causes water draining from a toilet to spin clockwise north of the equator, but a sudden change in the pressure during a Magnetic Pole Shift would cause toilets all over the world to EXPLODE SIMULTANEOUSLY!!! The results would be CATASTROPHIC!!!
Will Patton/Bill Paxton/Bill Pullman tries desperately to warn the President, but he's having none of it, because EVIL SCIENTIST Brian Cox is downplaying the threat because he WANTS all the toilets to explode, sending the planet back into the Dark Ages, which he and his evil cohorts would then RULE!!! Will Patton/Bill Paxton/Bill Pullman says to the President, "Migratory Patterns be damned, man!!! We've got a bigger problem on our hands!!!" But the President doesn't believe him, and Will Patton/Bill Paxton/Bill Pullman is left to try to salvage some remnant of humanity with the help of his wife Helen Hunt and his spunky daughter Leelee Sobieski.
The sequel, FLUSH POINT 2: FORCE OF GRAVITY, would have the human race reduced to those few people on the planet who used outhouses struggling to rebuild after billions of tons of raw sewage exploded forth during the Cataclysm, contaminating and eating through everything. And then they also have to deal with all the birds running into things.
But that's the plot of FLUSH POINT 3: BALLCOCK AND FLOATBALL in 3-D.
Comments (1)
iam trying to put together my own movie
Posted by heather | July 20, 2005 3:10 PM
Posted on July 20, 2005 15:10