kpduty

1) IT'S FUNNY AS HELL...
I haven't laughed this much during a movie in I don't know how long.

2) BUT IT'S ALSO SAD, TOO.
I admit, I teared up a bit. And yeah, I tend to do that during Geico commericals, but seriously this pulls at the heart-strings.

3) LOTS OF FUN, QUOTABLE LINES...
"Can I get any of you cunts a drink?"
"YO, NIGGAZ!!!"

4) AND LOTS OF GEEKALICIOUS IN-JOKES AND REFERENCES.
Yes, that would be Romero and Argento favorite Goblin providing the soundtrack. Also look out for subtle shoutouts to Dawn of the Dead, Empire Strikes Back, Evil Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Clockwork Orange and 28 Days Later.

5) GREATEST USE OF QUEEN ON A SOUNDTRACK EVER, INCLUDING HIGHLANDER, ALTHOUGH WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER IS AN AWESOME SONG AND THEIR COVER OF NEW YORK, NEW YORK WAS KICK ASS...OKAY, IT'S NOT THE GREATEST USE OF QUEEN ON A SOUNDTRACK BUT IT COMES CLOSE...
You're my best friend.

6) ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S THE DURAN DURAN COVER OF WHITE LINES THEY'RE SINGING IN THE FILM.
New album, October 12th!!! Have you preordered yours? I HAVE.

7) SHAUN IS A HOTTIE...

8) AND HE'S AN AWESOME ZOMBIE ASSKICKER.
And seeing as how they showed the new Blade trailer before the movie, I know of which I speak.

9) THIS FILM IS AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF WHAT A ZOMBIE INVASION WOULD BE LIKE AND HOW YOU WOULD RESPOND TO IT BECAUSE YOU TOTALLY KNOW YOU'D GO RESCUE YOUR MOM AND WANT TO HIDE OUT WHERE THE BOOZE IS...

10) AND IT'S AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF HOW MUCH LIFE WITHOUT A ZOMBIE INFESTATION IS LAME AND BORING AND DRUDGERY AND AREN'T WE ALL JUST ZOMBIES ANYWAY?

11) THIS FILM CONFIRMS FOR ME MY TWO "GREAT HYPOTHESES"...VIDEO GAMES ARE A NECESSARY EVIL BECAUSE WHO ELSE WILL SAVE YOU FROM ZOMBIE HORDES BUT THE GAMERS WHO FIGHT THEM ONLINE EVERYDAY FOR HOURS ON END...

12) AND ONLY THE SMOKERS WILL SURVIVE, BECAUSE THEY'VE GOT THE LIGHTERS.

13) THIS FILM IS INCREDIBLY SMART AND WELL-WRITTEN AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE MOVIE I MADE, IF I EVER GOT OFF MY ASS AND MADE A MOVIE AFTER MY CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED AND FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL FLUSH POINT...

14) AND IT'S NOT AT ALL THAT GORY, BECAUSE I TOTALLY WATCHED IT WITH MY EYES OPEN THE WHOLE TIME.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD is about Shaun, a 29-year-old assistant retail manager at an appliance store who shares an apartment with his overachieving schoolmate Pete and his slacker best friend Ed. Pete wants to kick Ed out because he's a slob and doesn't pay rent. Shaun's girlfriend broke up with him because he's not going anywhere in life. His stepdad thinks he's a loser who doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone but himself. His co-workers laugh at him to his face. Oh, and zombies are roaming Great Britain.

This movie is just all sorts of kick ass. I can't talk enough about how great it is. The tag line calls it a "romantic comedy with zombies," and I think that's the perfect description. Instead of being trapped on an island or having warring bookstores or being the president's daughter, this movie happens to have zombies.

But the characters come first. So much attention has been given to everyone that they are all fully fleshed out and you come to care about every single one of them, which is a feat considering how many there are. This is also a testament to the tremendous acting abilities of the cast. Many of them worked together previously on a British show called Spaced, so they have a long and established camaraderie that shines on screen. The friendship between Shaun and his best friend Ed is wonderful to watch.

I think the best thing about this film, though, is that it really speaks to me as a 32-year-old gamer/geek/graduate student/couch potato. I recognized a lot of myself and my friends in this movie. You know how special 16 Candles/Dirty Dancing/Ferris Bueller/Breakfast Club/Pretty in Pink was to you when you were a teen? This movie perfectly recreates that feeling, only now you're in your thirties and you're still a big loser. It's the John Hughes movie of your pre-midlife crisis. And that rocks.

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE see SHAUN OF THE DEAD fifty million times. Tell Hollywood we want kick ass shit like this!!!! And just support it so these guys will be able to make more stuff. But now that I think about it, DON'T DO ANY OF THAT, because then these guys will be our little secret and it will take forever before they're discovered and then when they're finally popular we can snub our noses at all the losers who didn't see how awesome they were way back when, and we can also hate them for destroying our special secret relationship.

NEXT WEEK--I have no idea. Maybe the Forgotten? I Heart Huckabees? Don't count on Ladder 49, I hated that movie back when it was Backdraft. By the way, I came up with a GREAT porno title about firemen called LAID 'ER 69. Isn't that awesome? Maybe that should be the next movie I make. Got to pay my dues and all.