kpduty

1) I JUST THIS MOMENT ran the wheel of my desk chair over the cord for my headphones and RIPPED THE CORD IN HALF. Now normally this would not bother me, but today is October 12th, THE DAY THE GODDAMN NEW DURAN DURAN ALBUM COMES OUT AND I PRE-ORDERED MINE A MONTH AGO WITH THE SPECIAL DVD AND LIMITED EDITION MOUSEPAD AND IF IT COMES IN THE MAIL TODAY I WON'T BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT GODDAMNIT FUCK FUCKITY FUCK MOTHERFUCKER SHIT!!! FUCKING 21 YEARS I GOT TO WAIT FOR THE ORIGINAL LINE UP TO GET BACK TOGETHER AND THIS HAPPENS!!!

I suppose it won't kill me to wait another day or two, if it even comes today. But still, fuck.

2) THE FORGOTTEN is so bad I won't even regale you with a review. Needless to say, I GOT A BOOTLEG COPY so I didn't even have to pay for it and it still totally sucked ass. MPAA COME AND FUCKING GET ME, I'll totally enter it into evidence in your pirating lawsuit against me and no jury in the world would convict me, it's THAT BAD. The end totally didn't make any sense, the guy from the previews that had such a big role in Julianne Moore finding her kid is seriously just DROPPED into the movie with NO INTRODUCTION fifteen minutes in. If only they could have heard me repeating to myself, "I don't give a rat's ass." Seriously, they never introduced anyone!!! UGH!!! And the previews totally gave away that it was freakin' space aliens, and the space aliens weren't even that cool. STAY AWAY FROM THE FORGOTTEN. FORGET THAT THERE EVEN IS A FORGOTTEN. Go get CLOSE ENCOUNTERS. That movie kicks all sorts of ass with 10% of the special effects.

3) You know why THE BEN STILLER SHOW was cancelled by Fox all those years ago? Because it SUCKED ASS. And it pains me to say that, because Bob Odenkirk is slave #1 in my imaginary harem. He's the only good thing about the show. Seriously, after memorizing most of MR. SHOW, I could tell which skits were written by Bob and David Cross. They just have a certain sensibility that leads to the funny. GO WATCH MR. SHOW. Andy Dick is also much more talented than we give him credit for. But thank God Bruce Springsteen is not nearly the pop culture icon he was in the late 80s/early 90s or we'd STILL be subjected to endless bad impersonations of him.

PS Looking for an excuse to avoid getting your graduate degree at the University of Oregon School of Journalism? Check out the shit that passes for a thesis here.

4) I think I may have been wrong about LOST. Last week I spent way more time embroiled in the drama of eating disorders and bad dye jobs on AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL than I did watching the castaways do stuff. Because I'm pretty sure that's all that really happened. They did some stuff, and talked about doing some stuff, and botched killing the marshal guy with the shrapnel. I would say I hope this week is better, but I'm more excited about the Presidential Debate.

5) What else? Oh, MONK is awesome. I watched them all this weekend. It reminds me a lot of COLUMBO. Tony Shalhoub is awesome, and I love his nurse played by Bitty Schram, but I think I read somewhere that she's left the show. But it's still awesome, the first season's on DVD. What's really cool is that You the Viewer can totally solve the crimes too, IF you're paying attention.

6) I have an INSANELY busy weekend coming up. The Husband and I are doing a Burns and Allen routine in the church fundraiser on the 16th (leave a note if you're interested in details--it's for the homeless!!). Anyway, I dreamt ALL LAST NIGHT about it, that I was late getting going, and my dad had to drive me, and it started at 7:30 but I missed the last dress rehearsal in the afternoon so I was in my dad's car shaving my legs on the way to the church because I wouldn't have time to do it when I got there.

I've been having a lot of anxiety dreams about church lately. I don't think you're supposed to have anxiety dreams about church.

Anyway, the point of this is that I will try my damnest to have a review up of TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE. I've been looking forward to this for forever. I will, however, not inflict upon you a review of the Duran Duran album, because I can tell right now without even listening to it that it's AWESOME.

Okay, I'm actually going to do some work.

Shut up.