Did I ever tell you about the time I saw JURASSIC PARK for the first time in a movie theater? It was the weekend it came out. I just happened to be in DC with The San Francisco Friend visiting her brother. We went to see it for shits and giggles.
I cried through the whole thing.
Fuck, it was DINOSAURS!!! FOR REALS!!! Up on the screen, interacting with Jeff Goldblum! DINOSAURS WERE REAL!!! And I totally wanted one, because they were wicked cute and looked like they'd make great pets.
It's been a while since I was so amazed by something going from being in my imagination to up on the movie screen and appearing like it was real. Like it could walk by my house while I was sitting at home with The Husband, listening to him complain about my unholy and unnatural fixation with JUDGE JUDY.
So it may come as no surprise to you that as I watched the new exclusive Yahoo trailer for TRANSFORMERS that I actually cried. Okay, cried is probably overstating it a bit, but I shed a few tears. Because HOLY SHIT CARS CAN FUCKING TURN INTO ROBOTS, and when they do the FUCKING KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ONE ANOTHER.
And TEENAGERS DISCOVER THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE (AND IT MEANS WAITING TO HAVE SEX UNTIL AFTER MARRIAGE) and GOVERNMENTS DISCOVER THAT WAR IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER (UNLESS YOUR POPULATIONS ARE HAVING THEIR ASSES HANDED TO THEM BY OUTER SPACE ROBOTS) and SONS AND FATHERS LEARN THEY'RE A LOT MORE ALIKE THAN THEY PROBABLY REALIZED (AND THAT INCLUDES A LOVE OF PORN AND CARS).
So TRANSFORMERS looks to be the feel-good sleeper hit of the summer. All it needs is Jane Fonda turning into a giant robot and kicking the crap out of Lindsay Lohan and then telling her to use condoms and stop drinking so much. That'd be awesome.
ETA: I just watched it again, because as previously stated, I am lame. And sure enough, when Optimus gets into his Keanu-Reeves-MATRIX-fighting-stance, the tears started spilling.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Is it because I got my period today?