So I went to the library on my lunch break to pick up an audio book I had on hold. I also picked up an assortment of books that will litter the living room coffee table/floor until I get the email telling me to renew them (running across PARASITE EVE randomly on a shelf FTW!).
As occurs every time I go to this particular library, I stopped by the coffee place on my way back to work. I feel I've earned a big ass cup of coffee, after having walked my fat ass all the way to the library and back, carrying the enormous load of my ass and some books I'm never going to read.
The barista, whom I believe has served me before, was particularly chipper today and called me "ma'am" and "honey." I'm at least 10 years older than her. What did I want, honey?
"A large iced mocha, please," I said, trying my best to be pleasant. After all, I'd found just enough change in my lint and fruit fly filled pockets of poorness that I could treat myself to a drink.
"You want whipped cream, ma'am?" she asked.
"OH NO," I said. I'm counting calories, don't you know.
And then I saw it. The signal that death would surely rain down upon Earth from the heavens. The End was NIGH. My world crumbled beneath my feet. Fireworks clouded my vision as though I'd been rubbing my eyes real hard for hours. It couldn't be...it just COULDN'T.
PLEASE...NO...
The coffee place has started taking credit cards.
My one saving financial grace has been that the coffee place never took plastic. When I went to the library, I'd always have to have cash on me, or else I had to do without. I'm addicted to froufrou coffee drinks: the Starbucks near my gyno, when they see me pull in for my Pap smear, rub their hands in glee at the thought of all the money I'll be spending on beverages when I'm done with my appointment. But I can't get these drinks all the time: Starbucks is too far out of the way. That Panera on the way to work every morning? Their drinks are shit. They couldn't make a good cup of coffee if there was a gun at their heads. The other Starbucks near work? No parking, and my ass isn't addicted enough to walk that far.
Although I have made the trip. But I was particularly desperate. And the stop near the library wasn't open yet. And I was REALLY DESPERATE.
But the point is, I usually HAD TO HAVE CASH. And I don't really have the money to be wasting on froufrou coffee drinks. At least according to The Husband. Who thinks I should just MAKE MY OWN, like you can just get up one morning and put boiling water in a cup and add some grounds and poof, you have a cup of coffee. IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!
Seriously, sometimes I think I'm so lazy I'd stop wiping my own ass if I could get away with it.
But back to the coffee. The shop accepting credit cards means that I'm going to be tempted to blow a wad of money every time I go there. I MUST HAVE SUPREME POWERS OF RESISTING. As I sit here now, I can hear the faint siren call.
ICED MOCHA....*sssshhhhhwwwwoooooooooooooo*
That's the approximate sound of someone whistling and beckoning or the wind or something.
Boy, I've got to pee real bad. And my heart's beating so fast it feels like I'm having a heart attack.
Large froufrou coffee drinks are so awesome. And now that I don't have to pay cash, they're even awesomer.
MUST RESIST!!!
Thank God my lazy ass has already made that trip once today, or I'd be in BIG TROUBLE.